A Tainted Memory
by Saffy Neko
Summary: Look at me. I have no home, no parents...do you pity me? I deserve none of it. I deserve none of this pain...L's past, an off-shoot of Keep a Secret...


Hi, everyone. Remember me, teh Saffyre Neko-? ...Ah, I don't blame ya if you've all forgotten me by now.

But in either case, this is what I've decided to do...

It's a story...about L's Past.

Enjoy...or not...whichever takes your fancy...

"A Tainted Memory..."

An Off-shoot of "Keep a Secret"

For the full Experience, read it all...in any order.

Drama/Tragedy

"look at me. I have no home, no parents...do you pity me? I deserve none of it. I deserve none of this pain...L's past, an off-shoot of Keep a Secret..."

chapter -?

PART ONE

The little boy played with his toys…a toy computer, a walkie-talkie, and a fake phone. Plus, some sugar cubes and fake coffee. The boy was very strange…and _very_ playful.

His mother watched over him closely. She was Japanese, but had moved all the way to her husband's hometown.

Now that they were in London England, things had changed.

She was a stay-at-home Mother. Complete devotion to her husband and son was all she lived for.

But her husband, Ryu Lawliet, had been on a Top Secret mission. His two friends, Sir Toby Efferson and Mister Wammy, were the only other people who he associated with.

The little boy's father was also one third Russian, one third Italian and one third British. His brown and black-streaked hair was only beaten in strangeness by his blue and steady gaze. His son looked just like him, only the boy, Eru, had his mother's black hair color.

Otherwise, the boy and his father could practically be twins.

Eru wanted to be a Detective, too, just like his father. He was so proud of all of his father's achievements, and spent all his free time figuring out just how Ryu would solve his cases. The five year old was extremely impressionable, but also exceptionally brilliant and talented. He also inherited his father's disorder…Asperger's Syndrome.

It was the very reason the Detective's child sat strangely, always chewing on his finger and rubbing his feet together in an odd fashion. It was also the reason the little boy hardly slept at all, and why he had strange eating habits.

Ryu Lawliet was the same way. He never really knew how to be a father, since he was so engrossed in his casework.

But his wife, Yuri Okinawa, didn't mind. Eru's mother would always spoil them both, giving them whatever their hearts desired.

For Ryu, that would be a full stomach at the end of the day, and his tea, which he drank constantly while solving cases.

For his little son Eru, it was simply the love of his mother.

That, and a few sugar cubes each day.

The little boy didn't demand much, considering the seriousness of his disorder.

In fact, his father was far more demanding of Yuri's time and patience.

It was because the boy didn't want to be an extra burden to his mother.

You see, Eru was also extremely observant…even more so than his brilliant-minded father. So whenever he could demand some of his mother's time, he would.

But not _too_ often.

He loved his mother. He loved his odd little family, and wouldn't trade them for anything.

He was an only child, and rarely played with other children, if he had any motivation _at all_.

He didn't really need that, though. He had his mother's attention, and his "uncle" Toby, and his "grandpa" Watari Wammy.

He didn't _need_ anyone else.

But that all changed one day, on that one mission. His father started a spiral…a Spiral that would change his son forever.

For Eru would very soon, in a series of events…become L Lawliet.

--

It all began with his father's illness.

Ryu kept coughing and coughing. That was all Eru heard on that day.

Coughing, and coughing…and _more_ coughing.

His mother was worried. She was _so_ worried. It was another thing he noticed.

And then he was hospitalized, diagnosed with a terminal disease…some sort of lung cancer.

And then he died.

It happened…all on the very same day.

Eru didn't know how to take it.

He was only five years old. How was he supposed to take it? Like a man, and not cry? Or like a boy, who just wanted to comfort his sobbing mother-?

He didn't know what to do. So he just hugged his knees to his chest, rocking back and forth on the carpet.

And he listened to her sobs…over and over.

He wanted to comfort her. He really did. But he was so young, and didn't know how to deal with Death. It was the first time he really dealt with it.

His first brush with Death was Not his last. This was a sad Fact that the poor boy could not yet comprehend…and would not begin to understand until two years afterward.

All he could do was sit and helplessly watch his mother, while she wailed and died inside, hugging her only son to her breast.

What was he supposed to do? _Reject_ her embrace-?

He simply sat and let her cling to him.

After all, it was what _he_ had done all these years.

--

There was comfort from No One.

No One was around…to comfort them.

Actually, only one was there to take care of them.

Watari Wammy was away on important business. Some sort of significant meeting.

Eru wanted support from his unofficial grandfather, but instead got it from someone he didn't really expect.

It was the ever-cheerful Toby. Sir Efferson was there to comfort them. Both mother and son.

First, he took them under his wing. Toby looked so sympathetic, _so_ pitiful…it made Eru sick. He only wanted to be there to help his mother, but now his so-called _uncle _stepped in and tried to be the hero-?

Eru could see through that sleazy _fake-ness_ from a mile away.

Now he only had to figure out…what was he hiding…and more importantly…_why-?_

--

Okay, so I decided to make this short and bitter-sweet.

I've been rather inspired, lately...with all the pain and hardship I went through in real life. Being hospitalized for over a week, falling for a boy who was already taken...I've dealt with a lot of pain lately.

I'm not asking for your sympathy. I don't need it. But reviews would always be welcome...just try to be nice.

Much love. I'll do my best to update when inspiration hits me again.


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